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Happy birthday! Jun. 23rd, 2011 @ 11:14 pm
I know i haven't posted in this LJ in forever, and i've been meaning to. I actually went through and re-read all of my entries and the comments attatched. So I'm going to attempt to spend time making journal entries. so for the post...

Happy 20th birthday Sonic! A huge part of my life for 20 years. Now i feel old. I ended up doing this for the celebration. Hopefully all the songs on the project turn out this well ( at least I think i did well :D)

Current Music: Maros - Spin 'n' Dash

Courtesy? Apr. 9th, 2010 @ 01:21 am
So today or yesterday now I guess, I just felt it was going to be a horrible day.

I got a call from the boss at my job at about 12. I waited a couple of hours to call him back because i was working on homework and filling out scholarship applications.

I call back and he answers
Him: Hello (insert customary greeting)
Me: Hi, It's Louie
Him: (Awkward silence for about a min) OH HI! Umm, can i call you back in a min?
Me: uh, sure
Him: at this number?
Me: yes.
Him: Ok, i'll call you right back.

So i wait for about 2 minutes and he calls back

Me: Hello
Him: Louie?

Me: This is him.

Him: Hi, uh, yeah i wanted to call you because a couple of situations have arisen... um not about you (he laughs) so you don't need to worry

Me: Oh (nervous laugh) ok


Him: i was alerted that (co-worker) is going to be leaving the company, and rather quickly. I'm going to need to fill his shift. I was wondering though if you would want to come work over here on a day maybe a swing shift. How would you like that?

Me: When you say over here, you mean (building Number)

Him: Yes, over here.

Me: I wouldn't be completely opposed to it but to be honest, i really like my current...

Him: (interrupts me)I just want to let you know that as a courtesy that i'll be switching your shift. he employee we will be bringing into your position will fit him perfectly as he has an ill wide at home. And your experience would probably be better fit for over here. Now what were you saying about your situation?

Me: I was saying that my hours work perfectly for me because of my school work that i've gained from started my BA program, and that i wouldn't have to try to find a babysitter for any additional days and that me and my fiance share a single car.

Him: Well the employee we're bringing doesn't need full time, and part time is perfect for him because of his situation. You'll be over here in this building. Um, there is a day shift, or swing shift, and there is a 40 hour night shift here. Which would you want?

Me : I would prefer the day shift

Him: You would prefer the day shift (laughs) ok. Now i need to remind you that over in this building, this is where all the big wigs and head honchos are so you'll be under constant watch and scrutiny. Now the most important thing about this position, well any position is that you are friendly to the employees. That you say hello and goodbye. But i'm sure you already do that. And also that once you begin to learn everyone's names, you begin incorporating names into your greetings.

Me: Yeah i try to do that now.

Him: Good, good. Um did you have any questions?

Me: How soon will this be taking place, the switch?

Him: umm, if not by the half, the latter part of the month, so not immediately, but pretty soon. We have to get training and everything out of the way.

Me: Ah, ok.

Him: thank you for being understanding, and send my regards to your wife and kid and have a good day.

Me: You too.
(conversation end)

me: ARGHHHHHHHH!

Seriously. This just made me upset and i've been dwelling on it all day. This makes absolutely no sense. If a person is quitting my work team, i would find a replacement for that single person. I see no point in switching about half of the work teams schedule to accommodate a single person who is new to that work team.

I could see if they were not going to fill his shift with a new person, but instead move me to that shift. But that is not even happening. They are moving me completely out of that building and bringing in someone from out of the work team to fill his shift and MINE!

Why would you move so many schedule changes for someone that would need to be replaced?

Which brings me to my next gripe.
You are accommodating a person you are bringing into the team. Now i have been at this site longer so you would think i had priority over what shift i would want to work. Instead I get kicked wherever, to accommodate a guy who is coming into the team.

which brings me to the biggest gripe i have.
WHY ASK ME IF I WOULD LIKE TO SWITCH POSITIONS IF YOU ARE ONLY GOING TO TELL ME I HAVE NO CHOICE!?
This was basically a slap in the face to me. It's like i know you have a life, but that doesn't matter. His exact words were, it's for the good of the company.

Sometimes i wish people care about other peoples lives before they feign interest.
Current Location: home
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed

to be or not to be Apr. 8th, 2010 @ 03:18 am
Life is too short to live. Life is not long enough to not experience everything possible. Things i have heard in my life that i know to be true but i can't grasp. Why?

I am Happy i really am. I just can't show it because then is when things go downhill. I was happy wrestling, and I get a disease that eats at my spine and keeps me from doing that. Before that i was attempting to start a family and that blew up in my face. I've have significant others that i had been content and no more than content, blissful with and those blew up in my face for one reason or another.

People know me, my friends, they know me as a happy hyper guy who is spontaneous and fun. But the me inside is a guy who knows that the world isn't as joyful as i wish it was. I sit and pour out the me that i want to be. The guy that is always happy. In my heart i am happy. But the world isn't the way it should be. the world and life as it is is not meant to only have happiness. it's meant to have balance. If there was only good times, would you also be able to consider them as bad times? There would be no line to cross and everything would become grey.

I know my life isn't the worse. I know it's not as horrible as some people have and i am ashamed to think the way i do. I don't like leavign my residence because i think My place is going to get robbed. I don't like being in places with people. Not because i'm not a people person. It's because i don't trust that random someone that could have malicious thoughts in his head. The one person who doesn't care. who just wants to hurt someone. Not caring about who's life it is affecting. So i would rather just sit home, in a place that i can think to myself, and realize that the world really is f-ed up sometimes.

I know god does everything for a reason. And i can't begin to fathom his master plan. But i wish i could. I wish i could look at life and analyze it and see how someone who is minding their own business, who has their own family can go about enjoying life. Then all of a sudden, someone just comes and harms them for craps and giggles.

No fault on god at all because he doesn't make people make mistakes and if he were to stop everyone who made a mistake, there would be no free will. But I have to say that i don't show as much life as i wish i did. I wish i could show all the time how happy i feel. I wish i could just me the me i want to be and not brood in what ifs.

I fear that i may be a bad father, that i could injure my son playing with him, or making a mistake and it costing him something dearly. I fear that one day i will wake up and he'll tell me that he hates me and that i'm the worst father he could have ended up with.

I fear getting married again because i don't want to be a horrible husband. I don't want to be the guy who doesn't make his wife happy. I don't want to wake up and have her tell me that it's been fun but she needs someone better.

I don't want to be the one who takes someones life and ruins it because of choices i have made. I want to be the guy who people can look upon and think: "Wow, he was a guy who was happy and showed his friends that life is worth living."

I just find it hard to do that day after day, with my mind constantly running thoughts of reasons why people may hate me, or hurt me. I HATE being this skin color. Why? Because it's just another reason to someone. I hate people making a random color joke just because i'm the token black guy in the group. Why? Because it shows that i'm not the person i try to be. I try to be a person and i am placed as an outsider in a race as a whole.

i wish i felt differently, but life reminds me daily of why i can't just let myself exude happiness. I want to be the one that is always happy. Since i was young i remember being the one who was happy but knew that i shouldn't show it. And most times when i show it, it comes to an end.

So what to do? I can't talk to people because my speech is not as eloquent as i wish it to be. I blank on speaking and my patterns just become non existent thoughts that i can't seem to spout out. I want to be able to hold long meaning full of conversations. But i fear being wrong and being told i'm an idiot or that i have no idea what i'm talking about or that i just plain don't get it.

I know i need to live and just live. But i can't help but think.... if i am trying to live, whats trying to stop me from living.

One day at a time i guess. one step gets you so far.

Hopefully i can be the me i want to be someday soon. Because now... I'm just hurting those who wish i was too.
Current Location: home
Current Mood: apatheticapathetic

I need everyone's help! Sep. 29th, 2009 @ 12:11 am
I am currently spending a lot of time in a competition. This competition is to pick a new artist to sign to an independent record company.

http://www.scrubclubrecords.com

I am currently in this contest and i've done pretty well and now i need as much help as possible!. This current round, i need to get as many votes as possible, in this poll

http://www.scrubclubrecords.com/board/viewtopic.php?f=26&t=1316

You'll need to register, but once registered, you can vote in the poll.
Any and all help received in this will be greatly appreciated!
I thank you all for your time from just reading this and your consideration of helping me!
Current Location: home
Current Mood: busybusy

so another sex bot attacked me today. convo within! Aug. 30th, 2009 @ 08:58 am
star_quality38: ::MUAH::
Maros: ?
star_quality38: hey there cutie???
Maros: who is this?
star_quality38: Oh Ok LOL,Nice!how you doin??
Maros: i'm happier than a tarantula on thanks giving with no arms! You?
star_quality38: nice, nothin I work from home just starting doing these cam shows It's pretty fun actually lol
Maros: is that one of those cam shows i saw years ago where the girl went and commited sekkupu? that was brutal!
star_quality38: I am a little busy right now cant really talk here but I would LOVE if you came to watch and give me some company, and maybe a GOOD rating ??
Maros: i can't watch you. you have made me sad, back in 1986 i was deemed blind by a batch of acid that flew onto my face T_T people call me the two faced daredevil
star_quality38: well I think i have my free friend's pass lyin here one sec babe.. I mean would you want it??
Maros: does it come with an eye replacement, 1 million dollars and a key smothered in peanut butter? if not i will settle for a purple and yellow robt names swizlar
star_quality38: yup, I do got another pass left!..YAY.. just please don't tell anyone else I can get in trouble. What color panties should I put on for you sexy, i'll let you pick! LOL
Maros: put on the color that makes heads explode when they are seen. Since i am blind i am safe, but then i might have to go over there and hand you over to the police for killing millions...
star_quality38: hahaha! call em! and tell them you are reporting a felony... YOUR HAIRSTYLE!! You might wanna get that looked at!
Maros: I don't have to call them, they are friends with me. we are on a first name basis, me, john,stallion butch and steve. And for your information, everyone loves my hair. it makes me look like an angry version of audrey II. I could be in musicals you know!
star_quality38: Leanne is my real name but all my friends call me Lia
Maros: Well lia, i would call you LISONIHORIS. And when i sensed your presence i would beep like a crazy robot who dropped his head in the water, went to dry it off and suddenly realize that i was really a parakeet
star_quality38: k lol .. You joining me ?
Maros: You want me... to kill millions of people. Just like that... You want me to join you in a quest, You LISONIHORIS and me the Two Faces DareDevil, to make millions upon millions of people's heads explode, leaving a red marshmellow like mess in houses world wide JUST LIKE THAT!!?!?!?! What do you take me for?
star_quality38: Ok, go to http://myhomecamnetwork.com/sexymiss scroll all the way down to the bottom babe, and you will see "friends of ME", click that and when you get the password page, put in the password:"diva" okay?
Maros: OH MY GALA! You have shown me something that my text to speech program can not translate. i hear url insert here , banana babies and tarragon giraffe fingers... what are you babbling on...
star_quality38: yup, fill out your info, make sure you put your correct b-day k?
Maros: it says First Name: Link, Last Name: Hero of Time, DOBeveral over many years. There have been many of me see... Email Address:LinkHeroOfTime@awesome.com, Email Address again: LinkHeroofTime@awesome.com
star_quality38: Its http://myhomecamnetwork.com/sexymiss use the password: diva
Maros: I am not a diva! I am Link! The hero of time, who in this continuity has gone blind, and has a scarred face, there for making me the most awesome Link ever. I can do anything any other link could do, but i have kick arse scars and my lack of sight is made up by the intensified remaining senses!
star_quality38: Its http://myhomecamnetwork.com/sexymiss use the password: diva
Maros: Now you just sound like a broken record... or a cop... ARE YOU A COP! FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
star_quality38: k, if you entered as my friend, it should say 0.00, if so you are good for my free friend's pass dont worry about the autorenew the pass cancels all charges
Maros: NO I DON'T HAS THE PASS! I am going to get charged for life, and death, and people will not mourn me for i am a genetic freak! HOLLA IF YOU HEAR ME!
star_quality38: CC is just to verify your age hun,its the sites policy to ensure no minors get access to the site .. i gave u my free friend's pass
Maros: I guess you heard me! I must say that through this conversation i have grown to like you... in a hate way... can i destroy your dimples with tentacles created by barbwire with pickles stuck on the barbs? it'll be painfully delicious! I promise!
star_quality38: ok let me know when you get in so I can invite you directly to my cam.
Maros: PEW PEW PEW!!! IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZERS! *sneaks in through the security door and breaks the neck of the carrot standing guard* I'm in! There were several ferocious creatures standing watch. and this one room had speakers blaring chocolate rain and never gonna give you up at the same time.... I was getting rick rained T_T it was horrible!
star_quality38: k, you in yet babe?? Don't keep me waiting!
Maros: I already said i was in... OH CRAP YOU'RE BLIND! WHAT DID THE POTATO FEURER DO TO YOU!?
star_quality38: k
Maros: NO! YOU"RE NOT OK! I need to get you to a doctor... who is your primary care physician... maybe he knows how to reverse the potato blinding spell
star_quality38: k when u login click LIVEWEBCAMS and I'm the girl on the top row farthest to the left. There's a chat there so I'll see u there babe ... maybe u tell me what to do
Maros: I AM TELLING Y OU TO TELL ME YOUR DOCTOR'S NAME! Seriously! You cannot be on cam right now... these people.. are so disgusting it's making em want to unleash the inner thug.... But i can't . He's sleeping and he needs to stay asleep. Tell me your doctors name so we can get you some medical attention and we can end this huge mess
star_quality38: Leanne is my real name but all my friends call me Lia
Maros: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WTF! HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN!?!? What are you , dead? Please don't die... don't die.... LISONIHORIS. The panda plants need your care....
star_quality38: what? whats the problem sweety?
Maros: YOU ARE DYING! Don't you realise the seriousness of this issue. What will your mom and dad say? Don't die LISONIHORIS... They need you, the carps need you... sylar... i mean I need you<_< star_quality38: k Maros: YAY VICTORY! WE WIN! THE WORLD IS OURS! No i can tell the story of our triump to the world! This will be the marking of a new day! WOO HOO! LONG LIKE THE TERRAFORM! star_quality38: ohh woome, now i remember. hey there cutie Maros: You are just now remembering where i knwo you from!? You are daft. and i thought this ... THIS ... Was special!? WHO ELSE LISONIHORIS!? WHO ELSE HAVE YOU DRAGGED INTO SUCH AN EPIC TALE AND THEN RIPPED OUT THEIR HEARTS AND CHOPPED THEM UP INTO FRIES AND SERVED THEM WITH STRAWBERRY DIPPING SAUCE!? WHO ELSE? Maros: FINE! DON"T ANSWER ME! I KNOW YOURE DEAD NOW... the poison... is working on me too... *apparates into a field of butterflies* the only way to die *sparkles and floats away into the sun* star_quality38: :( Maros: IT's TOO LATE I"M DEAD NOW !!! AND SO ARE YOU!!!! DIE! DIE A PAINFUL AND SLIGHTLY GOOEY DEATH! LOVE NO LONGER AND STAB A PARASITE WITH A RANCH FLAVORED BACON SPEAR! star_quality38: if its not working u can always visit me on my other site.. go to http://tinyurl.com/SOFLYY fill out the form and when you see the secret code box put in adminpass09 and ur set with my trial pass!! Last message received on 8/30 at 8:52 AM Maros: I SAID DIE! I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D PERSIST SO MUCH! IT'S NOT WORKING! US IS NOT WORKING!? DON"T YOU GET IT! You are a person with the limbs of a linguine noodle, and i am a man with the hair of a musical plant... this can't be , it was never meant to last... Just die, let me stay dead... our deaths are glorious and ones to be told to the masses... goodbye my dearest *slips a death roach in your ear and pours pear flavored death down your throat. Maros: *explodes in a million tiny peices, and does the caramel dansen dance into a black hole*
Other entries
» Itunes will take a while T_T
but until then there is always paypal!

Buy the highly anticipated CD Who's the insane one?

Photobucket

On sale now for
$8 dollars plus 2 dollar shipping and handling!

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=4565952

PAYPAL!
Now there's no excuse if you don't live in Tucson!
» Friends on LJ
I have been reading through my livejournal, and reading some of the comments and such, and i realize i miss the small conversations we'd have through our comments. I'd like to be more friends and less aquaintances.
This goes for you
Blitz
Pong
Hale
Blank
Bri
Dr.Zaius
&
PL!
Rocco too but he deleted his LJ T_T

if i forgot you, it doesn't mean i actually forgot you, you just lapsed my mind
» Finally selling my cd
I've been working lately on finishing my cd.

I'm selling it for $8 and shipping is an extra $1.30

Working on releasing it on iTunes as well, but that will take 4-6 weeks.

Photobucket

Yay for my crappy photo shop skills, glad i'm in the beginning of a class for the program.

the last song i wrote and recorded in like an hour...
wonder eyes.



(verse1)
Somedays i just feel so crazy/
I feel like life just can't take me/
and every time i get so down/
you're the one who's always been around/
You've always been right by my side/
no one will ever get the chance to ride/
co pilot to my hare brained schemes/
you're the one who's always there for me/

(bridge)
if you ever need me in your life/
in your time of need during your strife/
any type of issue, doesn't matter i'm be there when you call/
if you ever need me any time/
just to pay your bail, or a partner in crime/
No questions ask i'll will be there to pick you up when you fall/



(chorus)
wonder eyes/
i always wonder why/
you ever gave me light/
and held me through the night/
i never thought to say/
a meager word of thanks/
and no i know inside/
your arms are open wide, i love you/

(Verse2)
I'm not perfect/
i never thought that i would be but/
everything in this world just makes like i'm a failure/
You're always there just to lift my chin/
i'm so glad you're is the life i'm in/



(bridge)
if you ever need me in your life/
in your time of need during your strife/
any type of issue, doesn't matter i'm be there when you call/
if you ever need me any time/
just to pay your bail, or a partner in crime/
No questions ask i'll will be there to pick you up when you fall/



(chorus)
wonder eyes/
i always wonder why/
you ever gave me light/
and held me through the night/
i never thought to say/
a meager word of thanks/
and no i know inside/
your arms are open wide, i love you/

(Verse3)
i am forever in your debt/
i wouldn't be alive without your net/
I never thought you'd mean this much to me/
I know your love is what set me free/



(bridge)
if you ever need me in your life/
in your time of need during your strife/
any type of issue, doesn't matter i'm be there when you call/
if you ever need me any time/
just to pay your bail, or a partner in crime/
No questions ask i'll will be there to pick you up when you fall/



(chorus)
wonder eyes/
i always wonder why/
you ever gave me light/
and held me through the night/
i never thought to say/
a meager word of thanks/
and no i know inside/
your arms are open wide, i love you/

(rap)
I know that life is just so hard/
And with issues to disregard/
Everything that ever happens/
happens for a reason/
ripples in the pond of the changing of the seasons/
There is no difference, a detail is fact/
an attitude effect how you feel and you act/
if i was alone, i would never see the sun/
I'd probably end up staring at the end of a gun/


bridge)
if you ever need me in your life/
in your time of need during your strife/
any type of issue, doesn't matter i'm be there when you call/
if you ever need me any time/
just to pay your bail, or a partner in crime/
No questions ask i'll will be there to pick you up when you fall/



(chorus)
wonder eyes/
i always wonder why/
you ever gave me light/
and held me through the night/
i never thought to say/
a meager word of thanks/
and no i know inside/
your arms are open wide, i love you/
» Yay!
Ever growing depression. it never stops!
at the appointment the doctor said i had...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meningitis#Infection
» yay for student loans
as much as i shouldn't be spending my excess funds, in my lack of job time i now have enough to cover rent for the rest of the time we're under this lease. Just a quick update. more in a day or so.
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